Don't Marry Essay. Why Marriage Has Become a Raw Deal for Men

Don't Marry Essay
Why Marriage Has Become a Raw Deal for Men

By: Lee Raconteur

This writing seeks to educate men about the realities of what he may be getting himself into when he marries. An informed decision is less likely to be one that is later regretted. The intent is not to dissuade men from marrying, but to encourage them in communicating frankly their concerns and expectations of marriage with their potential spouses. The aim of this writing is to also enlighten women with some of the reasons why increasing numbers of successful eligible unmarried men, who otherwise prefer monogamous long-term relationships, are turning their backs on marriage.

Society automatically paints a stereotype on men who hesitate, delay, or elect not to marry. They are labelled as:
a) womanizers who are unable to participate in a long term relationship, or
b) Selfish/childish/irresponsible men who can not take care of themselves or another person.
No other explanation is ever explored.

The cost of proclaiming your undying love
(aka: The tip of the iceberg) 
Except in professional sports and presidential elections, women are given the same educational and professional career opportunities as men. Also, contrary to feminist propaganda, women do indeed get paid the same salary as men, given they are willing to work the same types of jobs as men, and work as many hours as their male counterpart. Despite this reality, many women come into a marriage with very little assets, and often, are saddled with substantial debt. In general, men are the ones who save and invest. (Don't believe me? Count the number of women of marrying age you know who subscribe to Fortune, Forbes, or Money magazine) A significant number of 20 and 30-something women spend most of their disposable income on luxury rental apartments, upscale restaurants, frequent exotic vacations, leased cars, spa treatments, and excessive amounts of clothing, purses, shoes, etc. Are all women like this? No. Could this be your future wife? Possibly. (Yet ironically, in the media, men are the ones who are portrayed as reckless, irresponsible spendthrifts)

** Disclaimer: For the purposes of this essay, I will be generalizing about the potential circumstances and gender roles that can plague men in today's modern marriage. What is the exception and what it the rule is open to debate. Certainly not all (or perhaps even most?) marriages end up as described. However, the aim is to simply educate men of some of the potential outcomes that exist for today's marriage and divorce.

When marriage enters the picture, double standards and financial imbalances leave responsible men to pick up the slack. (And also fix the mess she may have made). For starters, men are forced (yes, forced) to spend their hard earned savings (or take a loan) on a diamond ring. Women justify this relatively nascent ritual (spawned by a brilliant 1940's mass-brainwashing campaign launched by DeBeers) by insisting a man wants to buy her a diamond. That it makes a man proud to proclaim his love and affection this way. Granted, some men may be this way, but there are plenty who seek a lifelong partnership and commitment, yet have no interest in buying diamonds. What choice do these men have? None! To many young men, the ring/wedding is a unwelcome landmine in their journey towards adult financial stability. To add insult to injury, (a recurring theme in marriage, as you will see), the man is now locked into a lifetime of insurance payments for this grossly overpriced jewelry. (Contrary to popular belief, diamonds are not rare, but their supply has been artificially manipulated) Some men are more concerned with realizing their dream of owning a home, and/or becoming financially stable enough to begin a family. Men worry about these matters, because, ultimately, it becomes their responsibility as well.

This just portends the things to come. Immediately after buying a ring, the man may be rewarded with demands of financing all or part of a lavish wedding.... (Depending on the size of his bank account.) The costs of today's weddings exceed that of a house down payment. (Or in certain parts of the country, the house itself) If a man enters a marriage having saved up a down payment for his dream home, it can suddenly be snatched from right from under him. Many men may object to spending this sum of money on a one-day party. (Or spending a year of their life planning it, when they could use the same time to further their career or education) However, what a man wants is really not of any concern. Non-negotiable. A wedding is no longer for the bride and groom. As today's Bridezilla gleefully reminds you, "This is MY day". (Which ostensibly, gives her carte blanche to become selfish, irresponsible, and childlike) Are all women like this? Not at all. Could this be your future wife? Possibly. A man who balks at spending his entire life savings (or going into debt for) a ring & wedding & exotic 5-star honeymoon can be labeled a selfish cheapskate or not a "real man". (Meanwhile, what exactly constitutes a "real woman"?) In fact, if a woman leaves a man for suggesting they try to keep their costs under control, she would have full support from everyone around her. "She can do better than that"...."Clearly, he doesn't love her"..... etc. This is a sign of good self-esteem, and that she won't settle for anything less. Yet, in the same breath of this sense of entitlement, women proudly proclaim how equal & independent they are. However, can you imagine if a man demanded equal treatment? For example, demanding the woman buy him a boat, and a 2 week bear hunt in Siberia as a condition of marriage? This would be viewed as absurd, yet women do it every day. Marriage is a partnership, right? Please read on, my friend.

The injustices can go from bad to worse when children enter the picture. If the man can afford to carry the entire financial burden, the woman can elect to stop working. (Regardless of how the man may feel about the decision) The day the woman stops working is the day all of her past financial baggage unequivocally gets thrown onto the man's head. If the woman has racked up credit card debts, these are now his payments. If the woman has not bothered to pay off her student loans, these also become the man's responsibility. (Stomach-churning irony = the man is stuck paying for her degree, and she's not even working anymore!!) And can the man object? Can he say, "No, you made your mess, and it should not be my job to clean it up. You knew you wanted kids even before you met me, and you should have planned ahead." No, the payments can't be deferred until she is once again able to continue repaying them herself (Besides, that day may never come) Not if he wants to retain a clean credit rating to get a loan for their dream home. If he even suggested that she return to work to pay off her own debts, he would be chastised as bad father, endangering the welfare of his newborn. So, the responsible husband now compensates for the mother's freewheeling irresponsible past, and pays off all her debts. In yet another sick twist of irony, the husband may be paying off credit cards used to finance vacations and xmas gifts shared with previous boyfriends, etc. Buyer beware! This is the reward for today's man who works hard, makes sacrifices, plans ahead, and invests wisely. Again, this doesn't always happen. But by getting married, the man is certainly susceptible to being railroaded into this situation, because it is completely acceptable within today's accepted gender roles. Are all women like this? No. Could this be your future wife? Possibly.

Marriage can mean career slavery
(aka: A good paycheck can mean career slavery)
Anyone who says "Slavery is dead" clearly has not contemplated the predicament of many American fathers. Webster's defines slavery as "the state of being under the control of another person." If the husband earns enough to support both of them, he would be hard pressed to make an argument to preserve equality, and have her continue working as he does. If the wife decides to stop working, the men who have been left holding the financial bag find their options limited. They may find themselves stuck in careers they hate, or working for abusive exploitative management, working excessively long hours, working in jobs that are physically threatening, that have no growth potential, enduring prolonged commutes, etc. At this point, considering the corner he's been painted into, he is often powerless to affect any change in his own life. A husband may have been harboring delusions that once the wife was able to return to work, he would gain some flexibility to rectify some of the shortcomings in his own career (For example, changing careers or accepting a lower salary at a different firm, in exchange for better hours, shorter commute, and/or more fulfilling work, etc) But, a distinct reality is that he will continue to shoulder the financial responsibilities alone....A man's reward for working hard and getting ahead is to become trapped into his career, and shoulder the financial burdens of a family alone. Does it pay to work hard anymore?

If she stops working, she may never work again.
(aka: Caveat Emptor)
There are many debates about the merits of a stay-at-home mother vs. a working mother. My goal here is to simply educate the man on the unseen risks he is taking when he agrees to accept 100% of the financial burden to allow his wife to stay at home. Again, an informed decision is less likely to be one that is later regretted.

Every parent will agree that staying home with a child is back-breaking (and often mind-numbing) labor. Many new fathers will concede that it is much easier to go to work than to stay at home with several children. However, the greatest imbalance in efforts and contributions to a marriage can manifest once all the children are of school age. The house is now empty from 8am-3pm. The wife has 7 hours to herself, while the kids are at school, and the husband is at work. After a few years of hard work at home, many wives may feel entitled to "kick back." The good husband however, has worked those same years, has done his 50/50 of the housework, and is still working to support the family once the kids are in school. He is rarely afforded the same option to scale back his daytime efforts.

What motivation does the modern wife have to return to work? Very little. For several years now, the man's salary has been enough to live on. (Otherwise, she would have been working) Unless tight finances dictate that she must return to work, the husband really has little say in this matter. The wife can hide behind many different excuses in order not to work, despite having little to do from 7am-3pm:

"I'm busy with the housework"
It is easy to exaggerate the labors of daily housework. Yet, how long does it take to throw clothes into the wash, and remove them later? Vacuuming can be done in 1 hour a week. Grocery is another hour per week. A decent meal can be prepared in under an hour. Does all this add up to 7 hours a day? Note: This lie is not as persuasive as it may have been in the past, b/c in an age of later marriage, many men are already experienced in cooking & cleaning, and know what kind of effort it entails. (Note that not every stay-at-home-wife even does all these things.)

"I can't find a job"
She has been out of work too long, and therefore is unable to find a job. This may be true, but many men do not consider this risk when they agree to support her while she "temporarily' stops working. (Hopefully, now they will, and can make a more informed decision) Also, many wives may use this as a scapegoat to conveniently not even bother looking for any job. (Below, I describe how this can even be used against the husband in the event of divorce)

"It doesn't pay for me to work"
In the shortrun, the expenses of work (gas, lunch, clothes) may not make it worthwhile for her to go back to work. This may be true, but does this justify her playing tennis, while the husband toils away? Many couples may be too shortsighted on this matter. Initially, the cost/benefit numbers may not be ideal, but her returning to work will improve her job skills and network of contacts. (More so than strolling through the local mall every afternoon) Over time, as her career gets back on track, and she becomes qualified for better jobs, her salary should also improve.

It should be duly noted that some working wives view their salary as "personal spending money", and still expect the man to pay all or most of the bills. (What's mine is mine, and what's yours is ours.) Are all women like this? No. Could this be your future wife? Possibly.

Even more unfair double standards that favor wives

If a married man cheats, he's the scum of the earth.A selfish jerk who has jeopardized the family unit. However, when the woman cheats, she's conveniently portrayed as the victim. Poor thing. It's for her empowerment, or to help her self-esteem. Worse yet, her cheating can be the man's fault. How? He doesn't compliment her like her new man does. Or he works too much. (Yes, the man who is scrambling to pay the mortgage and cars she may have demanded is now considered negligent. The man who may be working 2 jobs to allow her to be home with her kids is now considered negligent)

When a woman cheats, the first thing people ask is what he did (or didn't do) to drive her into the arms of another man.
When a man cheats, no one ever asks the same question.

When a woman cheats, sometimes the reaction can be, "Oh, poor thing, I guess her husband wasn't delivering in the bedroom".
However, if a man cheats, no one ever stops to think...."Oh poor fella, his wife was horrible in bed."

Also, if a man happens to leave his wife for a younger woman, it is automatically assumed that he is a shallow sex maniac whose only motivation was to be with a younger woman. If his wife was lazy, or a reckless spendthrift, or verbally or physically abusive, or became grossly overweight, or was an incompetent mother, those realities are totally ignored. Ostensibly, the only reason a man leaves his wife is to be with a younger, more attractive woman. (Never mind if she is a better match for him) Because apparently, that's the only factor that motivates these Neanderthals.

If a man insists on a prenup, he is selfish and unromantic. However, when is the last time a woman who demanded a prenup was called "unromantic"? On the contrary, if a woman requests a prenup, she is fiscally responsible and looking out for herself. (Note: If your fiancée refuses to sign a prenup, she has just shown her hand...) Why is it that a woman can refuse a prenup, and it's accepted. In reality, the man should be outraged that she is after a legal contract, and not love.

What is astounding is the hypocrisy of the reaction towards prenups. Women can conveniently assert that a man is unromantic if he suggests a prenup. After all, how can a man pollute true love with signing of legal paperwork! However, what is a marriage contract? Women do not seem to balk at signing this legal paperwork, which entitles her to at least half the money a man earns, and obligates him to support her if the event of a breakup. Why aren't men allowed to note how unromantic this contract is? The distraction of bridal magazines, selection of dinner napkins, churches, wedding dresses, receptions, wedding showers, and honeymoons have clouded the legal reality of what men are getting themselves into. Marriage is as much an unromantic legal contract as a prenuptial agreement is.

Ironically, prenups were devised as a way to protect women. Nuptial agreements were popularized in the 19th century, mostly to protect heiresses from marrying men who were "out for their money." Until the Married Women's Property Act of 1848, a woman's property, upon marriage, was transferred to her husband. (Correct, )

"Stupid, Irresponsible" Men
Men are severely abused in our media, quite frankly. Just watch TV commercials/sitcoms and see how many reflect men as idiots. (If they had commercials like that about women, people would have a fit.) If it wasn't for their wives they would be lost "animals". Other commercials who make it appear that men act without thinking, impulsively and irrationally, and the wife is the brains of the family, which in reality is not always true. Even many women will agree, women often are the ones who act on emotions, and make judgment solely based on emotional attachments, rather then logic and reason. Almost every "couples budgeting" article will portray the woman as the one who has to rein in the man's childish spending.

Job Loss
If a husband loses his job and is having trouble finding work, the wife is justified in threatening to leave him. However, can you imagine the reaction if a husband threatened to leave a wife who was in the exact same position?? He would be crucified! If a man loses his job, the woman is justified in resenting the fact that the financial burden lies on her. However, when is a man allowed to resent this very same predicament? If a man is laid off and cares for the household/kids, while the wife is working, he can be accused of not pulling his weight! Yet this is exactly the same situation that women demand more recognition for!! Either role the man plays, he loses!

Traditional Roles
It's perfectly acceptable for a woman to demand a man make a certain salary, to be deemed "marriage material", and provide stability. Likewise, if a man demands the wife do the cooking/cleaning, he can now be labeled a sexist misogynist. If he asks her to carry her weight financially (just like he does), he can be criticized as an inadequate provider. What exactly deems a woman "marriage material"?

To top it off, some women have gotten so pampered that they not only quit their jobs the day they find out they are pregnant, but they hire as many nannys as their husband can afford. Yes, some wives stay at home, and hire someone else to raise the kids and clean up, while they drink lattes and go shopping all day with other pampered "stay-at-home" mothers. This is not all women, but certainly the odds increase if the man can afford it. Does it pay to work hard and get ahead anymore, if this is how your hard earned money is squandered?

Are all women like this? No. Could this be your future wife? Possibly. The concept of the pampered wife is relatively new. America was primarily an agricultural economy even up into the 1920's. American wives contributed to the well being of the household by helping on the farm. A man needed a wife as an equal partner. It was not until the 1950's that the first generation of American wives began to emerge as dead weight. Perhaps this coincides with the spiking of the divorce rate in America. Perhaps men have become tired of giving so much, while getting so little in exchange.

(aka: License to Steal)
50% of American marriages end in divorce, and 70% of these divorces are initiaited by women. All men should consult an attorney before marrying, and understand the implications of divorce, b/c they may participate in one whether they like it not.

Upon divorce, all assets accumulated during a marriage are subject to division. Even if the woman has not worked in years, and instead, has spent the last few years shopping and lunching from 7am-3pm, she is entitled to half of everything the man worked for during the course of the marriage. Is this fair? How many people would ever accept a job offer that stipulated that in the event of resignation, you would have to return 50% of every dime you were ever paid? No one in his or her right mind. Yet, men unknowingly agree to the exact same insanity when they sign their marriage contract!

"Assets accumulated prior to a marriage are exempt from a divorce." Yes, in theory. However, real life dictates otherwise. If funds from an account are commingled, it can become marital property. If even a dime from an account is spent towards the marriage, it can be considered marital property. Buy your child a lollypop from your own account, and a good lawyer will take 1/2 of it for your ex-wife when you divorce. If a woman moves into a home the man owned prior to the marriage, it is not safe from divorce. If she so much as hangs up a sheet of wallpaper, the home is now classified as marital property, and is subject to equal division. (Worse actually, the man can be ejected from the home) Is this fair?

Note: "equal division" is also somewhat a misnomer. Often, she can get upwards of 70% of assets, while the man gets the majority of the debts!! This, of course, is his reward for working so hard all these years. He can afford it, she can't b/c she was not working.

If you pamper your wife, it can be used against you
(aka: No good deed goes unpunished)
Imagine yourself giving a homeless man a sandwich. A generous act, indeed. Now imagine your reaction if the homeless man sues you in court! The judge orders you to keep feeding the homeless man sandwiches, indefinitely, because he has become accustomed to your support!! This would be categorically absurd, yet this happens to men in divorce court every day. Instead of thanking you for paying her bills for all those years, you get the reward of legally having to keep paying her bills! Remember folks: No good deed goes unpunished.

After having children, many women demand to quit working and stay home. Before kids, many of these women may have been in careers they hated, working long hours, and enduring long commutes. It is the man's generosity and dedication to his own career that allows her to walk away from her hers. During a marriage, a man with a stay-at-home wife might work himself to the bone in order to support her. He will pay the mortgage, property tax, grocery bill, phone bill, cable bill, and electric bill. He also pays for her car, the gas money, clothes, and vacations.

As a slap in the face, the man can be punished for working hard enough to allow his wife the have the luxury of staying home with the kids. As noted above, after the children are in school, the wife may enjoy a life of leisure that is afforded to her by her man's hard work. In event of divorce, he can be legally obligated to support her for years to come. Because she stopped working and led a life of leisure, the ex-husband is now responsible for supporting her!! History has a tendency of rewriting itself. Originally, a woman may have had a career that she may have hated, and was begging to leave. (In fact, that partially may have been her motivation to have kids in the first place.) But now, in her eyes (or her lawyer's eyes), she "gave up" her career for the man and his kids. His gift now becomes her sacrifice! Or, the story goes that he was threatened by her having her own career, and forced her to quit and stay home with the children. (How many men do you personally know that are upset at having a wife that earns a good living?) Many of these misleading stereotypes still run rampant in our society, and are routinely used to the woman's advantage during a divorce. As a result of her not working, regardless of whether she was minding the home or not, she remains a liability.

Generous, caring men who spoil their wives should certainly think twice about how this generosity can later be used against them. The phrase used in divorce court is "She has become accustomed to a certain lifestyle". A husband's reward for spoiling his wife today is the legal obligation to spoil her indefinitely. Buy her a luxury car today, and you may be obligated to buy her luxury cars after she leaves for you for another man! Yet...imagine a husband that became accustomed to eating a home cooked dinner prepared by his wife. Now imagine the courts obligate the ex-wife to continue cooking for him and his new girlfriend each night, despite being divorced! Inconceivable, but it happens the other way around every day!

The ultimate insult, however, comes when the man loses half of his life's assets even when she has decided to leave him. Yes, a wife can kick a man out of his own home, and have the courts force him to continue paying the bills, while she is sleeping with her new boyfriend in the very house the husband worked to buy! She can spend her alimony check on gifts for her new boyfriend! Are all women like this? No. Does the legal system support a woman who does feel entitled to this? Yes.

The risks are clear, but what exactly are men getting out of marriage? Many times, the reasons men get married are unfounded.

All the "classic" reasons why a man gets married are a myth.
(aka: Don't believe the hype)

"I won't die alone"
Wrong. The simple fact is, that one spouse WILL die alone. (Unless you both die simultaneously in a car accident.) Your spouse may die 15 years before you. Or you may be on a hospital bed for your last year. Yes, you may get visitors, but they aren't having the same thoughts as you are. You're contemplating your mortality, while they're wondering what pizza toppings the hospital cafeteria offers. Ultimately, we all die alone. Married or not.

Corollary: "I won't grow old alone"
Not necessarily. A marriage can self-destruct at any time. Your partner may initiate divorce at age 30, 35, 45, 50, 55, 60, etc. MANY married people end up in the same position (alone) as if they had never married at all. (But they enter their twilight years broke, as a result of being stripped of half of their life's assets, losing half their retirement/pension funds, and/or being assessed alimony payments) Also, experiencing final devastation from one divorce may preclude a man from ever marrying again. ie: He grows old alone (and poor)

Men are led to believe that not marrying implies a destiny of a solitary monk in a cave. However, life is not so black and white. Not marrying does not mean you can't continue to date or have meaningful relationships throughout your life. There are plenty of single people in all age brackets. In fact, a bad marriage can be the loneliest of institutions, b/c most of your emotional outlet and companionship is concentrated into one person. Again, my aim is to educate young men in their 20's and 30's to the alternatives that exist in life. They should be aware that marriage is a choice, and is not the only path life has to offer.. An informed decision is less likely to be one that is later regretted.

"I'll get regular sex"
Not necessarily. There are plenty of "sexless" marriages. Talk to a few married couples that are honest about their relationship. One or both partners may stop wanting sex after kids. Also, it remains to be seen whether sex with 1 partner for 30 years is even a natural act, or just a man-made convention. Marriage is hardly a guarantee of regular sex, as many people are led to believe.

"I'll have someone to cook/clean for me"
Not necessarily. While a woman is perfectly justified in quitting her job in the name of staying home with the kids, she can also demand that the husband pay for a cook, a maid, and a nanny. This leaves a man to earn the money, and leaves him to pay for maintenance of household and children. Today's woman is empowered by not performing the traditional housewife duties, regardless of whether she is working or not. If a husband asks that his wife perform traditional household duties b/c she is not working, he can be labeled sexist or controlling, even if he is doing his "traditional role" of paying all the bills. (Besides, this is a stupid reason to get married. If that's what you want, then hire a maid)

"It's the proper religious thing to do"
Perhaps, but it is a complete farce to watch couples that haven't gone to church in 10, 15, or 20 years suddenly become church going regulars a few months prior to their marriage in order to gain approval of their church. (And in most cases, they don't step back into a church the day after their wedding) If you are not actively religious, why would you need your personal relationship to be endorsed by corrupt child-molesting, tax-exempt, money-soliciting, war-mongering thieves? (Who you will never see again) Religion today is nothing more than a way to socialize and network with neighbors on Sundays. Not a reason to be married. Of course, the Catholic church only allows you to be married once. So when remarrying, divorced people will get the marriage "annulled". A convenient man-made loophole to circumvent a man-made custom. A complete farce.

"I have to be married to have kids"
Really? Her ovaries do not physically need a contract at town hall in order to be fertilized by his sperm. Cro-Magnon man had children long before lawyers invented marriage contracts. Often, you do not need to be married in order to share health benefits. (Due to the gay rights movement) You do not need to be married to designate your partner on a life insurance policy. It's ironic that responsible parents who raise a healthy family, but never actually sign marriage paperwork, get less respect than ineffective/inattentive/incompetent married (or divorced) parents.

Having a lifelong, faithful relationship has nothing to do with being "married".

Owning beautiful dream home together has nothing to do with being "married".

Raising healthy, happy, and successful children has nothing to do with being "married".

All these things have been done by gay couples for years now, without marriage.  In fact, with the advent of gay marriage, gay couples have proven that the only tangible consequence of marriage is having a formalized seperation process.

Otherwise, nothing else has changed in their relationship that existed before "marriage".

You do need to be married in order to throw a extravagant 3 hour party, and share the same last name, however.

Besides that, marriage does nothing but introduce lawyers and phoney, crooked religious figures into your life. (People that otherwise have nothing to do with your life or your relationship)

Men need to stop and ask, "Why exactly am I getting married? What exactly does marriage mean to me in today's world?"
It is hardly a lifelong committment, b/c it can be reversed overnight.

Marriage was borne as a way for families to merge land/property, so maybe people should view it as just that. The rest of the hype is just bogus modern TV fantasy polluting the minds of today's impressionable youth, and a way to keep the $70 billion-per-year U.S. wedding industry chugging along. Perhaps the only criteria should really be "Am I excited to merge my finances with him/her?" Because, when all the fluff and hype are boiled away, that may be the only remaining reality. (Don't believe me? Spend a day in divorce courts, and you'll see exactly what is real and tangible about marriage. You'll also see women who signed the marriage contract under romantic pretenses who are now expert laymen attorneys who can cite case law. Boquet throwing ex-brides now embroiled in warfare to get everything that's comin' to them!) The rest are myths, lies, bold unsubstantiated promises, and maybes.....For better or worse.

The national divorce rate is 50%. (It's higher in some parts of the country, like CA) However, I ask you, consider of the number of people who are in a bad marriage, but elect to stay. (Men who don't want to lose 50%, ....women who know they can't support themselves alone, etc) Next, think of how many more couples stay together just for the sake of the kids. Of these, "forced marriages, consider how many of these marriages involve infidelity. A shot in the dark, but I estimate the percentage of happy & monogamous marriages to be under 5%. Are these odds you would take in a business venture? Or even a raffle ticket? Most of the risk-averse population would not. Yet they seek this exception to the rule everyday at the altar.


There is no conclusion. The author is just as confused as you are. Brothers, choose wisely ?

Comments (118)

Said this on 3-29-2009 At 07:00 pm
The women, instead of striking back in anger, need to wise up and work toward saving marriage in the United States. If the institution of marriage continues to fail, at the hands of the feminist-socialists, our nation will not endure long. Until things change, I can not encourage my sons to marry American women.
Said this on 4-27-2009 At 02:00 am
I honestly wish I had the wisdom that is displayed in this essay when I "fell in love" and then got married. My advice to any man who is seeking to get married is this:

1. I don't care how much or how little money you have or how young or how old you are, have a prenup: if she says no that don't marry her!
2. If you are marrying each other for any other than true love and respect for each other, then don't do it.
3. If you or she has any fidelity issues, then don't do it.
4. If you aren't your "own man", i.e., you are hoping to form a partnership with the little lady financially and your income and hers are necessary to live together, I am not going to say "don't do it" but what I will say that if it were me I wouldn't do it. I wonder what would happen if you were to lose your job and had no income for an extended period of time (if she supported your quest to find another job or source if income without complaint, then consider yourself a lucky man). But since you will be your own many, capable of supporting the household without her income and with a prenup, then you will be in good stead, in which case I would say marry her.
5. If you are marrying her because she is "hot" I would say don't do it. Most hot chicks are a little higher maintenance to very high maintenance because they learn at a very young age that their looks are exceptional and that they can pretty much have any man they want. So if you want to maintain her affections, you are going to have to compete on some level with the men who will constantly be vying for her affection. of course this is not true of all "hot" chicks - I want to be fair - but it is true of many (I would even say most). If you find a "hot" chick who is not a flirt and who is honest, loyal, trustworthy, giving, flexible and emotionally mature and who is into you and you relationship and want the two of you to grow old together, then please marry her provide that there is a prenup (which she would have no problem signing because she is flexible). Otherwise pass. Of course you too would have to give her all the qualities that you expect from her plus also you must be confident, respectful and romantic with strong self control.

I believe in love and I know someday I will again marry and meet a lovely woman who will be a great wife to me, but until that day occurs, I am quite content as a divorced many who is dating many different women.

One more thing for the men especially, unless you are 100% sure that you are prepared to be married to one person for life, then don't marry. Many people get married yet want to maintain a single lifestyle, i.e., "married-single". It doesn't work. Unless you are prepared to change your world as you knew it before you were married, then don't do it. Best to luck to all of you and may all of you find true love.
Said this on 6-2-2009 At 01:23 pm
Men always forget one thing before getting married though.

Marriage is a business deal for a woman. We men are their just an useful animal for a woman. This can be proven by the fact that women always marry up. Always. No matter what kind of exciting thug she is nailing, she will always marry (or certainly aspire to marry) a boring rich man. How often do we have heard the word "I want a man who can protect me" from a woman? I believe every man in this planet have heard this. But strangely, no one stops to think, protect her from what? What are we threatened with everyday. Violence, vampires, werewolves, what??? Its actually a secret which no woman will tell u. Protect me = Protect me from the discomfort of earning my own money. Thats the reason why women fall in ahem!!! "love" and "marry men. Haters will never believe this, but it is the naked truth. People who can accept this as truth, will remain single till death (very few in number). Rest of the men will learn the hard way.

Marriage is designed to trap men into an economic servitude and wage slavery. A lot of groups have to gain from this, namely:
1. Government : Married men can be dumped with a lot of work because he needs money, thanks to the bitch at home. Moreover, he will keep slaving away at a job and the Government can extort more taxes.
2. Business: They get more hours from a married man, thereby increasing their production. They don't care whether he lives or dies.
3. Religion: Married men tied down with kids are easy targets for religious zealots to pull out cash of their wallets.
4. Family courts, lawyers, doctors and other parasites : Do I need to address this?
5. Women: They simply love the idea of trapping someone into slavery, so that they can sit on their ass and do nothing. Thats why they marry. Oh!! one more thing. Sex with a slave is the last thing a woman will want to engage in. A workhorse should be out there in the field and not wasting time and energy with sex. Yet married men wonder why the sex stopped.

Now, u know why everyone around u promotes marriage. There is absolutely nothing in it for a man. So, this article is spot on. Enlightened men will learn and adjust while fools will keep burning themselves in the greed of evil women.
Said this on 6-2-2009 At 01:24 pm
Men always forget one thing before getting married though.

Marriage is a business deal for a woman. We men are their just an useful animal for a woman. This can be proven by the fact that women always marry up. Always. No matter what kind of exciting thug she is nailing, she will always marry (or certainly aspire to marry) a boring rich man. How often do we have heard the word "I want a man who can protect me" from a woman? I believe every man in this planet have heard this. But strangely, no one stops to think, protect her from what? What are we threatened with everyday. Violence, vampires, werewolves, what??? Its actually a secret which no woman will tell u. Protect me = Protect me from the discomfort of earning my own money. Thats the reason why women fall in ahem!!! "love" and "marry men. Haters will never believe this, but it is the naked truth. People who can accept this as truth, will remain single till death (very few in number). Rest of the men will learn the hard way.

Marriage is designed to trap men into an economic servitude and wage slavery. A lot of groups have to gain from this, namely:
1. Government : Married men can be dumped with a lot of work because he needs money, thanks to the bitch at home. Moreover, he will keep slaving away at a job and the Government can extort more taxes.
2. Business: They get more hours from a married man, thereby increasing their production. They don't care whether he lives or dies.
3. Religion: Married men tied down with kids are easy targets for religious zealots to pull out cash of their wallets.
4. Family courts, lawyers, doctors and other parasites : Do I need to address this?
5. Women: They simply love the idea of trapping someone into slavery, so that they can sit on their ass and do nothing. Thats why they marry. Oh!! one more thing. Sex with a slave is the last thing a woman will want to engage in. A workhorse should be out there in the field and not wasting time and energy with sex. Yet married men wonder why the sex stopped.

Now, u know why everyone around u promotes marriage. There is absolutely nothing in it for a man. So, this article is spot on. Enlightened men will learn and adjust while fools will keep burning themselves in the greed of evil women.
Andre Noble (male)
Said this on 6-14-2009 At 12:13 pm
In all these discourses on the state of Western marriage that rightfully outline just how raw of a deal being a male in Western counties such as the US and Britain has become over the last 40 to 50 years, none addresses the absolutely feeble and inadequate political response by men to rectify the situation.

Most men's response is a blend of stiff upper lip chivalry and resignation to being thoroughly marginalized in the relations to the women and children in the life. I don't blame women for the predicament we men are in, I blame Western men. Sorry, but this is what we get for being so stupid and feeble. Furthermore it is only going to get worse for men before it gets better. Why? Because the established political machinery is current set up by feminists, socialists, legal, and corporate entities who have a vested interest in the depowing and enslavement of males.

It will take a grassroots movement, possibly a radical revolution as occured in Iran in the 70's to put things to right. I see this as being still 30 or 40 years off, but it will come because the current anti-male bias in the US and Western countries is unsustainable over the long term.
Said this on 6-16-2009 At 07:47 am
If this type of wisdom was available when I first met my parasite of a spouse, I would have never gotton married. Instead, afer 9 years of marriage, I face the prospect of losing half or more of my hard earned assets to an ungrateful freeloader. The wisdom of this essay needs to spread (radio, talk shows, etc.). Once this hits the mainstream, more and more men will have the awareness of what bad deal marriage is. The other side of this is that more and more women will find the doors to marriage and motherhood slammed shut because they won't be able to get anywhere in terms of a long-term relationship with men.
Said this on 6-16-2009 At 08:02 am
If you are even a modestly successful man, have a fairly high level of self-esteem and don't define yourself by whether you are "with a woman", rather than waste your time, energy and money trying to keep some ungrateful woman "happy", you would be better off concentrating in building your career or business, building your investment portfolio, and pursuing various hobbies, interests and avocations in life and in general seek other forms of happines and self-actualization. Oh, and if you sometimes have certain "needs" that need to be fulfilled by woman, its probably more efficient to just pay for prostitutes. That way, you get your "needs" met and you can then go back to concentrating on more productive things in life.
Said this on 7-6-2009 At 03:25 am
katrin, learn how to write. you make no goddamn sense.
Said this on 8-19-2009 At 06:10 pm
I am 31 and have debt because I was raised under the impression my parents were going to pay for my college and then after I graduated, whoops. I was wrong. Apparently good ol' step dad was a loser with his money and the money my mom saved up from flipping houses for a decade. So don't you dare go around spreading poison about women and debt. Cause if we come to the table without a college degree, you still bitch, you dirty bitch. I worked my ass off to get a degree in a field that ended up costing 70-grand to get a degree in and it pays crap in the beginning. I'm doing the best I can. I know how to make the dollar stretch. I'm classy enough that no one would throw me into a trailer park. I want to have great sex too, just like you, and I want it to continue as long as it can. Thus, you bet I want to feel sexy and know that my man finds me sexually desirable. How dare any of you men make a woman like me, feel like a prositute for feeling this. Do you know how much it costs a woman to "keep up" her sex appeal for her man? The waxing, pedicures, manicures, tanning (fake or real), highlights, hair cuts by stylists who know what they are doing so we don't look like a small town buffy, designer jeans that fit right (in my field, i lose money if I wear cheap clothes and the life cycle cost of designer clothes can sometimes be worth the price, assuming you wait for sales), BIRTH CONTROL (insurance doesn't always cover all of it), sex toys, lingerie (we hear you bitch about how you hate to see us in standard underwear and nude color bras...we know you don't want to see the same bra more than 5 times and for some men,'s a gift from us to you). And I've only described a pretty typical woman above. I'm not talking a woman who spends 500 to 1000 on shoes and shirts or one that looks at their man as a bank account. I'm pretty frugal. It's very important to me that the man I love be wise with his money. I'm willing to pay for things and take care of me but I would be lying if I said I didn't look at paying the house mortgage and for the bigger things we share, as an act of love. Men that say the things like this man has are usually insecure pansies (with small hands) and can't sexually satisfy their woman. Sometimes they are right. However, men with integrity don't dog the entire female race and promote the end of a union that is crucial to the stability of our society. It is a union that makes children feel safe. It keeps us in check when we were are tempted by people outside of the relationship. Marriage is a good thing. And FYI: A sexless marriage is a scary thought for some of us women too and yes, marriage is a contract to some extent. That should not be a news flash to anyone. So anti-marriage men, grow some balls and stop thinking just about you - marriage is mostly about the kids. If you're not going to have kids, then fine, don't get married. Ramble on. I'm confident that you'd meet a woman like me and your mind would be blown. You'd fall in love with me (and I don't have huge fake boobs) and therefore, if I wanted to get married you would suddenly be a man who was into marriage. I'd refuse your offer to pay off my college debt because I'll be damned if I have to ever go online and find you complaining about this. But yes, I would like a ring that shows me you worked hard in my honor. What is wrong with that? How does that make me a bitch? If just makes you look like a man to onlookers - it says "Damn. Some guy wants us to know this woman is taken!" I really don't know why some women have turned into total bitches. But it could be that they've turned sour from being used so many times for sex and thus, they can no longer be vulnerable. Originally though, God created woman to be the emotionally sensitive and tenderly loving partner. More women than you realize are secretly crushed by your massive porn collection. Most try to convince themselves that they are into it too because it hurts less emotionally to embrace it then to think about what is really going on - they are, to some degree, being rejected and cheated on. Same thing holds true for strip clubs. Do you think we want another woman grinding on our guys lap? Not if we're classy women and if it's the man we've chosen to marry, make babies and grow old with.
The Man
Said this on 1-13-2010 At 11:44 am

Shut up.

Mr. Bean
Said this on 3-16-2010 At 08:08 am

70 grand for a degree that doesnt pay shit; youre dumb.

Said this on 7-20-2011 At 10:44 pm
<p>It's really simple.&nbsp; Men are not marrying because the risk is not nearly worth the reward.&nbsp; The chances are great that you could lose your house, your assets, your income, and your children to a woman who poisons your own children against you.&nbsp; To top it off, he loses the lions share of his income for the next two decades to his ex wife, and therefore cannot save for retirement, that is if he can manage to stay out of debtor's prison.&nbsp; When he finally comes out from under the debt burden in his mid 40's, it's too late to save for retirement.&nbsp; The chances are better than even that he will live most of his adult life, and die, in poverty, while his own children are systematically poisoned against him.&nbsp; This is not the exception in the US today, this scenario is the norm.&nbsp; Nothing is worth that risk.</p>
Said this on 6-24-2011 At 04:31 pm
<p>Blah Blah Blah... we all have money problems</p>
Said this on 11-18-2009 At 09:45 pm

As a woman, I must say that writer is correct about most women- I have friends who fall into that category. But guys there ARE women who are independent, hard-working, and don't want the finer things. I know because I am one of them. I love this quote: A good woman is like an apple on a tree. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling & getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy to reach. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree... that is what I am waiting on

joe biker
Said this on 1-1-2010 At 12:35 pm

I thought I found a woman on top of the tree but she turned out to be a user, now I have to give up half of what I made in the last 9 yr's. She did not work and I treated her like a queen,I loved her with all my heart, would do anything for her,kept faithful to her. For my undieing love and generiousity, she cheated on me from day 1 of our marriage.

My eye's have been opened and I now see that useing women for what they really are is the best way to go. I want to give back what I got 100 fold. If I sound bitter, yes I am.

Why is it that women get away with murder and men have to pay for it. We need to stop living in the early 1900's and have these law's changed. Men stand up for your right's, start speaking out or keep getting abused by women & riped off.



P Ray
Said this on 2-3-2010 At 12:25 pm

"A good woman is like an apple on a tree. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling & getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy to reach. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree..."

Pete Wentz, the guy married to Ashlee Simpson said that.

I wonder how many women he went through before getting married to her.

Quoting a rock star as an example of someone whose words you want to live by, is not very wise.

Said this on 12-3-2009 At 09:32 pm

Gob smacked!!! ....after 20yrs of marriage...i felt like i was viewing my life....of the last 20yrs.. confused..NO....Brothers lets do something about it....Collectively. Stu...... from downunder.

Said this on 2-5-2010 At 09:11 am

Agree with 90% of what the author says.  Bottom-line, there should be a law that requires men to educate themselves on the pitfalls of marriage and divorce BEFORE they sign the marriage contract.  That way, when they are chewed up and spit out by the family law system with the clothes on their back and a lifetime of child support and alimony payment obligations (and visitation "privileges" for their own children), they will have nobody to blame but themselves.

By the way, I think it's true that MOST women go into marriage with noble intentions... it's only when they selfishly want out that they start to find out how much of an advantage they have over their husband if they initiate divorce proceedings.

For those of you educated in evolutionary biology, you will know that the optimal mating strategy for females (including human females) is serial monogamy.  DON'T let it happen to you by signing a marriage contract.

Said this on 2-15-2010 At 03:50 pm

awesome essay, thanks for not saying  all women that made me totally agree with you throughout the article. i'm going to make my boyfriend read this.

Said this on 2-27-2010 At 04:18 pm

<p>Do not get married!  What starts out seemingly great will almost certainly end in your destruction.  You'll be gamed and confused in the end.  Do not do it.</p>

Said this on 3-12-2010 At 04:41 pm

My fiance and I have been involved for 19 years and engaged for 3.&nbsp; I'm 43 years old, he's 38, and before our engagement, he had never made and adhered to a budget, never saved any money, and rarely paid any of his bills in full and on time.&nbsp; We're trying to save for a wedding, a house, and a life together, and little by little he's learning to be more financially responsible.&nbsp;&nbsp; He's currently employed part-time, and I, the woman, am resposible for taking up the financial slack because I'm able to, because I love him, he's my man, and we're in this together.&nbsp; And hell yeah I'd expect his financial and emotional support if our roles were reversed.&nbsp; Why shouldn't I?

Our love life has always been amazing, and when we first got engaged, we were "doin it" 4 times a day, every day. Three years later, we have more responsiblities and some days, are too tired for sex.&nbsp; But we still make love 4-5 days a week and it's better now than it was when we were in our 20s.&nbsp; I don't cook every night, but most nights I do.  And every weekend we have real breakfast:&nbsp; pancakes or franch, scrambled eggs with cheese, and bacon.&nbsp; I wash dishes, do laundry, and clean our apartment.&nbsp; I've gained 10 pounds in the last 3 years, but so has he, a weight gain I attribute to the comfortable life we have together (and my big breakfasts).

Some of you guys are so bitter, and although I can empathize, YOU chose the woman you married (and divorced).

Don't hate every woman in Amerca because of your poor judgment. 

My fiance and I waited to do get serious, because honestly, we just weren't mature enough in our 20s or early 30s for marriage and all the hard work and compromise marriage entails.&nbsp; I'm not a "girly-girl"; I don't wear makeup or heels, spend hours in the mirror or salon, or blow thousands in Macy's on handbags and lingerie.&nbsp; A man chooses a woman as a life-partner who has more style than substance, then complains that she's self-centered.&nbsp; Well, duh!&nbsp; But it was cute when you were dating, wasn't it?

Granted, I'm not married yet, and at the moment he slips that band on my finger, I might turn into a heartless, manipulative, frigid, lazy bitch.  

But, since he has known me for 19 years, through good times and bad, I'm pretty sure he's gonna give me the benefit of the doubt.  And I'm pretty sure I won't disappoint him.

Hope you guys can find some hapiness too :(

Said this on 4-6-2010 At 01:17 pm
<p>The jerk who wrote this will never have any meaningful relationship. Your mother was probably a whore and your father was a dirt bag who never had a dime to his name. To the old geezer talking about what garbage todays women are, I say the following. True, some women don't act like ladies, but MOST men today don't act like gentlmen. They are very selfish and care only about themselves. Some women may spend money on shoes and purses, but most men spend their money on expensive cars, boats, bikes and other expensive gadgets. With a few exceptions, most of my friends are married to men whom THEY support because the man is lazy, and wastes the money he earns on gambling and other crap. Guess what marriage today, is a raw deal for women!</p>
Said this on 4-11-2010 At 08:22 pm
<p>I guess it will depend on the spouse that you have chosen with you could be true the author could also be true.....but if by sheer bad luck you chose the wrong one then the author could be correct but if you had good luck on your side then your opinion is really correct</p>
Said this on 6-5-2010 At 11:20 am
<p>Why don't you try actually reading the article and addressing the points in it? The fact that almost all the criticism are personal ad hominem attacks such as "The jerk who wrote this will never have any meaningful relationship" Whats wrong? Can't attack on the actual facts so you have to resort to cheap dismissive and belittling tactics? That's just pathetic.</p>
<p>The fact of the matter is is that men and women are people. And like all people they will do whatever they can to get ahead and get as much benefits/money with as little work as possible. The fact is is that you will always have the same small minority of bigots who will have their radical views no matter what. But this is the difference. It is the way we enforce our system. If a man is a a bigot than we rightfully so call him a bigot and the force and judgement of society and our feminist courts drop the hammer on him. But if a woman acts as a bigot then we always find some excuse to justify it. Mothers murder babies and yet we just let them off the hook. The way the system is set up if a man tries to rob and cheat a woman, he gets caught and is punished. If a woman tries to cheat and rob a man, then the system not only encourages her, but helps her in the looting process. That is what we are protesting, the fact that the system supports the systematic looting of men. And by the way for all the feminists if you want to be taken seriously here then you should probably stick to the issues and arguemnts about that, because if you continue to use your dismissing, belittling, shaming, and other ad hominem attacks such as "but MOST men today don't act like gentlemen. They are very selfish and care only about themselves" which are backed up by nothing except feminist rhetoric then you come off and appear to everyone as being full of shit and having an anti-male agenda. The fact is is that there are men who act like gentlemen, men who don't act like gentlemen. Women who act like ladies, women who don't act like ladies. But the system will only punish men and never punish the woman.</p>
Said this on 12-14-2012 At 03:02 am
<p>Thank you, Lisa, for so expertly proving the author's points.&nbsp; If there's anything Amerikan bitches are good for, it's that (probably about the ONLY thing they're good for, actually).&nbsp;</p>
Said this on 6-9-2010 At 03:02 pm
<p>Whether you are male or female, the articles' main attempt is to point out that marriage without a prenup is a DISASTROUSLY DANGEROUS proposition for men simply because of human nature.</p>
<p>The various posts have proven that most women dont really "reason"&nbsp; logically through a specific set of information.....generally.&nbsp;</p>
<p>The article was quite effective in proving that in the EVENT of divorce,&nbsp; men will LOSE.&nbsp; And they will LOSE BIG--house, family, kids, car, and future.&nbsp;</p>
<p>None of the women seemed to be able to specifcy exactly what WOMEN LOSE in the event of divorce.</p>
<p>Thus, the reality that initiating a divorce is a WIN&nbsp; WIN proposition for women is sufficient reason to insist upon a thorough pre nup.</p>
<p>For&nbsp; men,&nbsp; this is their only defense against&nbsp; the raping and pillaging of their lives.</p>
<p>Or put another way,&nbsp; "i dont ever want there to be an ADVANTAGE for you to leave me"</p>
Said this on 6-15-2010 At 07:02 pm
<p>Ok, so as my name shows I am a woman. And suprisingly, I am sure, I agree with you. I have been screwed by the legal system and understand that it sucks. Please note that not everything is gender biased. Sometimes women do not want to get married either. We are "owned" at that point or so we are raised. Having said that...there are a lot of self indulgent, selfish women out there and frankly I can't stand them. Please note men, that there are still good women out there and honestly, you don't have to marry them. You are very right that you do not have to be married to have a loving lifelong releationship.</p>
Said this on 6-22-2010 At 05:49 pm
<p>I thought "You have to give marriage a chance."&nbsp; WhoooHooo! Did I find out!&nbsp; Screwed so bad I'm crosseyed.&nbsp; Unfortunately it will take generations of pain and misery for the cultural lesson to be learned.</p>
<p>My advice to those who won't listen like I didn't,&nbsp; DO NOT MARRY!, Make lots of friends, Date for&nbsp;sex, If you want children then use the $100K+ the wedding/marriage/divorce would cost for a surrogate.&nbsp; Then you know you won't&nbsp;experience the privilege of paying child support to not participate in your childs life.</p>
<p>You will know it's safe when 50% of men who want custody get it.&nbsp;</p>
<p>A damn waste, but there it is!</p>
Said this on 7-10-2010 At 07:47 am
<p>Why the long, rambling, disorganized essay? &nbsp;All that needs to be said that is that American women have become spoiled, selfish, entitled, man-hating leeches, who view marriage as their ticket to having a wallet, personal slave, sperm donor and someone to support her spawn.</p>
<p>Why continually re-qualify your points with "are all women this way?" &nbsp;Of course they aren't. &nbsp;But the vast majority are. &nbsp;Period.</p>
<p>So young men, do yourself a favor. &nbsp;Don't even THINK about marrying. &nbsp;Just meet and enjoy the company of women who aren't bat-shit crazy and, if you are fortunate to meet a woman who really and truly is different from the all-too-true stereotype and shares your values and goals, then and only then consider marriage. &nbsp;But absolutely do NOT marry because you are "in love." &nbsp;Romantic love is not real and can never, ever be the basis for a successful marriage. &nbsp;It is a chimera that comes mostly from the groin and it last only about six months to a year (for you -- just a few weeks for her).</p>
Said this on 9-7-2010 At 06:23 am
<p>It's nice to see so many appreciating the essay.<br /><br />We have re-started the forum discussion for this at:</p>
<p>Please join in the conversation, or just give me a piece of your mind.</p>
<p>All the best,</p>
<p>Lee Raconteur</p>
Said this on 9-8-2010 At 04:57 am
<p>Screw the marriage strike, it is time to start a relationship strike! Really why should we copulate with the oppressor class?</p>
<p>&nbsp;Are we just mindless animals ruled by our libido's? No!</p>
<p>We are human beings capable of sentient thought, and as such we shouldn't enable the chains of our own oppression.</p>
<p>&nbsp;There is no reason to date or let alone have sex with women. Why should we contribute to their mental well being when our entire lives we where purposfully discriminated against and deprived of a real education?</p>
<p>Not only that but as many young men who grew up in the "girl power" age, young girls and grown women took great pleasure at the concept, thought and action of harming us both mentally and physically.</p>
<p>How many boy's and young men must commit suicide before we stand up for ourselves against this oppresive matriarchy?</p>
<p>I say no more! Let women go to adult shops if they want satisfaction. Let them also go to a pet store for companionship. We are men. We are inherently independent creatures and we no longer have to put up with the abuse and oppression anymore.</p>
Lance Chalmers
Said this on 10-11-2010 At 06:30 pm

I run a small B and B, and see very few happily married American couples. Here in Mexico, there is no alimony, just child support, but only if a man is at fault can the woman claim anything, and divorce is virtually impossible unless both agree, in which case its very easy and quick. Many of the divorces are initiated by the women due to a husband's affairs. So, live in Mexico and marry 'separado'". Women also in the main expect the man to pay for everything and they perform the housewife role, rather like the old fashioned US marriage. Of course the laws could change for the worse..

Jeremy Tebben
Said this on 10-20-2010 At 11:38 am
<p>I almost feel bad for making my way here and reading this article, because I am not unhappy (most of the time) and I love my wife. Its just that it seems like Marriage is a bad deal for guys. You can't play video games as much, forget about basketball or softball games, two jobs just to pay the bills because she is not working, its a bad deal man. The author is write in most areas although he seems a bit jaded.</p>
Said this on 11-18-2010 At 03:02 pm
<p>Men also love eye candy women.&nbsp; A woman's looks will last up until mid thrities if you are lucky.&nbsp; Most women get frumpy and gross after a couple years of marriage.&nbsp; A guy married a beautiful woman expecting regular sex each night, instead, what usually happens is the chick abandons her looks completely, gets fat, gets lazy, and doesn't have sex.&nbsp; Why would a man want to live the rest of his life with that?&nbsp;</p>
<p>Plus there are almost no beautiful women past 40 - there are some, but they usually really take care of themselves.&nbsp; I would rather stay single than be with some ugly 40 year old lady.</p>
Said this on 12-16-2010 At 01:19 am
<p>Great post. Thanks for sharing.</p>
just asking
Said this on 12-22-2010 At 10:23 am

the dating pool of "women" in nyc

...What has become of the women in nyc, I presume ? As the old addage goes, ..."no matter how flat you make a pancake, it has two sides". The countless little girls (interchangable with brats), raised to believe that they are entitled to everything. All the while,growing up to deem men the collective sons of perdition. Where does THIS sense of unjustified sense of entitlement come from ? You are entitled to a man who makes a certain salary figure...why ? your chest size ? The barometer of desireability in a man is DIRECTLY correlated to how much he makes/doesn't make ? I'm a terrible man, if I make less than [enter asanine amount of money here] ???????

Where has this sickening sense of entitlement come from ? For the simple fact that you are a woman, you deserve un-paid for dates ? you deserve pampering ? you deserve to have lifes' platter set before you, while at a diminutive can say no at any given moment ? A mans' higest honor, is to be next to you ? ...... but he better not want anything, right ? ...sounds dumb, doesn't it ? I get to hang around you just long enough to hear you tell me how much of a friend I am to you ? heh. heh. ha.

You want your feelings to be cradled with the utmost care and consideration, yet a man is only a frame of baser instincts, cave-man behaviors, lies, and lecherous scenarios ? Your sentences are often in-coherent, yet a man MUST be ivy-league educated ? why ? ..because you have a big ass ? Pfffft........

You're not fat, you're thick. Heaven FORBID a man be 20 lbs over-weight, though. The only fat he's allowed to have, is the 28" penis he MUST have to even be shown the WRIST where the watch exists.....let alone be given the time of day.

[Much love to the sisters who do/don't...regardless of ethnicity]..... How does this schematic work ? You have no car, but I have to have one ? why ? Oh yeah, I forgot. Your super-big ass. You live at home with YOUR parents/family/situation...but I have to have my own posh loft with french-doors, and paid-for parking-spot ? why ? ..... whoops. again, I forget. that banging body I better never....EVER ....even remotely be thinking about.

I have to Be Usher on Monday.Lil' Wayne on Tuesday.Trey Songz on Wednesday.Hill Harper on Thursday. Idris Elba on Friday.Diddy on Saturday...and Barack on Sunday...yet you should be embraced in all your entirety, because why ? ...right. 46 DD's. smh........ I have to be a perfect blend of intelligence, and swagger.... rugged masculinity and refined gentleman, billy-bad-ass, and reserved diplomat.... and again, WHY ?????? ....because you have f****** girlie-parts ????

Am I ignorant to the things a lot of guys do...ESPECIALLY when they have a good woman ? No. In fact, I hate it as much as you do [maybe a bit more because it imbrues who I am and who I WAS RAISED TO BE]. That said, I have yet to give up. I refuse to believe that this is the extent of my generation.

For every song and dance I've been told, when you were too chicken-s*** to tell me I'm ugly. For every lie I've been told. For every girl that's cheated on me. For every time I was rejected. for every time I was stood up. for every mis-deed I've experienced at the sedious hands of various "women". For every intance of dis-respect. For every time I've been the brunt-bearer of "...well the last guy who...".

There ARE up-standing guys. Just because they don't meet YOUR list....does not make them any less of a man, AT ALL. You'd just as soon have a pet euthanized due to his eye color, than you would a man...because he's 6'7" but makes 10,000$ LESS than you DSEMAND he make ? who are you ? ...Oh yeah, you're the one with the big ass. By now I'm sure it may or may not have registered, that I'm un-moved by the swaying of hip, and the licking of lips.

I refuse to play the game. I sit on the side and wonder where the women are. In the meantime, I'm busy getting myself together. Not for a woman, but because I love...... myself. How's that for little boy ?

Said this on 1-16-2011 At 03:08 pm
<p>While the outline mentions some selfish behaviors that women occasionally indulge in, the bottom line is the problems are at root caused by the state.&nbsp; Get the state out of marriage altogether and much suffering will be alleviated all the way around.</p>
Said this on 1-23-2011 At 12:15 am
<p>TO Whom It Concerns: A very slanted, one-sided point of view written by a man. What about the woman that is cheated on, left broke and buys the Judge and attorney of the wife to get his way in the divorce?&nbsp; THERE&nbsp; are two sides to every marriage and every divorce. STOP acting like the man ALWAYS gets the short end of the stick.</p>
Said this on 12-14-2012 At 03:16 am
<p>"What about the woman that is cheated on, left broke and buys the Judge and attorney of the wife to get his way in the divorce?"</p>
<p>Well, DUH - she obviously got the short end of the stick, having been married to a scumbag-asshole excuse for a "man."&nbsp; HOWSOEVER, for every such case as that which you describe, there are one hundred --hell, several tens of thousands-- of cases of the reverse: where the man has been cheated on, left broke, and faced a hostile, feminist-ass-kissing judge and shyster lawyer who caves rather than advocates his JUST case.&nbsp;</p>
<p>Either way, we're not talking about "wronged" women here.&nbsp; Go set up your own blog site for that!</p>
Said this on 1-30-2011 At 05:31 am
<p>Gosh you really must have been burned...</p>
<p>Not all women are like you describe - in fact there are a lot of men out there who behave exactly in the same way you describe this selfish woman who married this poor hard working responsible guy (you maybe?)</p>
<p>Women stupidly marry male losers all the time - they dont get jobs, certainly don't contribute to weddings - and sit at home spending your hard earned money</p>
<p>Losers come in both genders! &nbsp;</p>
Said this on 12-14-2012 At 03:25 am
<p>"Not all women are like you describe..."</p>
<p>I guess we can label this "Amerikan 'Woman' Cliche/Excuse Number 1."&nbsp;&nbsp; It REALLY makes me laugh my ass off, pathetic as it is.&nbsp; Coming in close second is the "there are lots of us women out there who aren't like that."&nbsp; I guess these "women who are not like that" fall into the same category as people who've won the MegaMillons or Powerball or who subscribe to kiddie porn magazines: you hear about them all the time, but you NEVER actually MEET any of them.</p>
<p>" fact there are a lot of men out there who behave exactly in the same way you describe this selfish woman ... Women stupidly marry male losers all the time..."</p>
<p>Once again, that's not the topic of Lee's essay.&nbsp; For the concerns you whine about here, GO START YOUR OWN BLOG FOR THIS SUBJECT (see, guys? We can't even have our own blog forum without the harpies getting all bent out of shape).&nbsp;</p>
Said this on 3-8-2011 At 08:49 pm
<p>I'm a 39 year old never married woman and I cannot for the life of me figure out why a <em>woman</em>&nbsp;would want to get married (unless a man was very exceptional and they had an exceptional, &nbsp;loving relationship). Most men expect you to work <em>and</em> do the majority of the housework and childcare. They're selfish in bed. They want you to do things for them but because they are men, they feel entitled to reciprocate like 10 percent of the time. I like my vibrator better. It's just too bad there isn't an effective man-repellent spray on the market. Well, except for pepper spray. That's a little harsh. Sometimes.</p>
<p>I completely realize that at least one bitter schmuck will insult me, e.g how I look, my mental and emotional stability, lack of happiness, etc., because I don't want to be married to a fat, lazy man slob. But I will tell you, I love my quiet days. There's no arguing in the house. No expectations. Just tranquility and beauty. Ahhh. Meanwhile, the married people I know are so miserable that I've come to the conclusion that it is better to be alone than to be married to the wrong person.</p>
<p>Besides, too many men are emotional infants prone to temper tantrums when they don't get what they want. I'd rather have a rhinoceros in my house than deal with the complications of a selfish, lazy, dishonest, beer guzzling pork-bellied, butt scratching man who needs to be top dog all the time and thinks I'm a thing to fulfill his needs. Screw that.</p>
<p>Give me a real man with a beautiful heart and soul and wisdom to match and maybe I'll change my mind. Until then I'll happily snuggle with my cats. Yes, my cats. They are better than men.</p>
<p>People often seem to get married for all the wrong reasons. Women are looked down upon as not real women if they don't have kids. People also feel like they aren't respected in their community unless they're married. There's a lot of pressure and so... people get married for the wrong reasons. It's stupid. People even get married just because they thinks that what they "should" do. They want to avoid critcism. But the fact is that married women are statistically the most depressed group in America. That should be a BIG red flag, ladies!</p>
<p>This article treats men like they're retarded. Plus, it's completely biased, exaggerated, and belligerent. If you're a really stupid man, you'll take it seriously.</p>
Said this on 3-12-2011 At 06:19 am
<p>What? when does the man take the womens money? When does the man get&nbsp;the kids? What does the man ever ask from a women? This article is right on! Women forget that men are the ones who invent everything. We even invented your tampons and make up. You want to be equal, look up the def 50/50 and get some ambition besides being a house wife. By the way, whats the tax return like for house wifes?</p>
Said this on 5-23-2011 At 09:40 pm
Wow, your post makes mine look feelbe. More power to you!
Said this on 5-24-2011 At 12:28 am
Tuodcohwn! That's a really cool way of putting it!
Said this on 5-24-2011 At 04:19 am
Cool! That's a celevr way of looking at it!
Said this on 5-24-2011 At 06:47 am
At last! Smoenoe who understands! Thanks for posting!
Said this on 5-27-2011 At 06:42 pm
<p>Marriage is just a paper with rules on it. Follow those rules and you're golden. Now if it turns out you're unhappy with your marriage then it gets complicated. Sometimes the man gets the better deal and sometimes the woman gets the better deal. With children, the children always get the shitty deal. If a woman takes custody of the child she is in the shitty deal with the child. Child support is a joke, chances of getting enough to support the child comfortably are very low, especially since women make 79 cents of every dollar a man makes (working the same job/committment/hours). There are shitty not worth your time women, and there are shitty not worth your time men. Choose a good non-shitty one, seems hard I know. Marriage is mutual, if you don't want to marry, then don't do it. The woman isn't putting your hand to the marriage license and making you sign it. Make wise decisions, you and your mate are happy with each other and agree on views then you will be for the majority of your marriage, happy with each other. If you and your mate agree that marriage is a sham, then good for you guys. Also for those out there who don't know what an emergency C-section is, look it up. That fucks up a woman's body no matter how hard she works. She could have the body of a goddess and still have a nasty giant ass scar near her vagina and always feel self-conscious of it. And no, you can only reduce the appearance, it will never go away since the cut is too deep.</p>
Said this on 6-1-2011 At 09:18 am
<p>You guys rock! I wish everyone could have such a wonderful marriage. Good karma!</p>
Said this on 7-6-2011 At 04:21 pm
All of my questions settled—thknas!

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